Radley Balko offers examples of the way police departments avoid active verbs, the active voice, and human subjects of sentences “to publicly deflect responsibility for police shootings.”
- “A deputy-involved shooting occurred.”
- “The innocent McKay family was inadvertently affected by this enforcement operation.”
- “The deputy’s gun fired one shot, missing the dog and hitting the child.”
Balko notes that police departments have no trouble writing clearly when they want to assign blame to a suspect: “The suspect produced a semi-automatic handgun and fired numerous times striking the victim in the torso.”
[Balko, Radley. “The Curious Grammar of Police Shootings.” Washington Post, 14 July 2014.]
Gretchen Morgenson, “A Vow to End Hollow Nods and Salutes” The New York Times, June 7, 2014:
Another disturbing aspect of the culture at G.M. was the “formal training” the company gave to employees writing about safety issues. A 2008 presentation, for example, warned employees to write “smart.”
What did writing smart mean? Words such as “problem” and “defect” were banned. Employees should instead use softer words — “issue,” “condition” or “matter.” Rather than write about a “defect,” employees should note that the car “does not perform to design.”
Sometimes entire sentences were forbidden, according to the report. “Dangerous … almost caused accident,” was off limits, for example, as was, “This is a safety and security issue. …” Finally, employees were advised not to use phrases such as “tomblike” and “rolling sarcophagus.”
This manipulation of language reminded me of George Orwell’s incisive 1946 essay, “Politics and the English Language.” Although the focus of his essay is the bankrupt verbiage favored by politicians, Orwell could just as easily have been describing corporate-speak at G.M.
I have posted a new page, “How to Write a Prospectus.”
A dissertation prospectus is an essay arguing that you have found a research problem whose solution merits thousands of hours of your time; hundreds of hours of the time of your various advisors and committee members as well as that of librarians, archivists, and other people of good will; and, if you are lucky, some public or foundation funds toward your research expenses. Though the dissertation you complete will likely differ significantly from the one you conceive, you should be able at least to sketch out a viable project before attempting to write one.
Comments appreciated as always.
I have posted a new page, “How to Write an Outline.”
An outline should organize a long work into smaller sections and highlight the major findings of a body of research.
Professor Caleb McDaniel of Rice University offers some excellent advice on developing gut reactions to a text into comments that will inform your own thinking and that of your classmates.
How to Discuss a Book for History | W. Caleb McDaniel.
A nice weighing of alternatives:
In the Road Runner cartoons, the Coyote’s real antagonist isn’t the Road Runner. It’s the desert landscape and, you know, the ACME Corporation, who are conspiring to make his life miserable.
Eric Molinsky, quoted in “Noble Effort,” 99% Invisible: A Tiny Radio Show about Design with Roman Mars, August 2013 (7:26).
See “A Thesis Statement Template.”
In preparation for my summer graduate seminar, I’ve posted a page on “How to Use Examples to Evaluate Scholarship.” Comments appreciated.
Thesis Statements: History
UCLA’s advice on thesis statements for history papers.
I have tweaked my Examples of Critical Reading, listing “the source is advancing an unstated agenda” in place of “the source is advancing an agenda.” I encourage students to look for messages not explicitly stated, but I fear that “hidden agenda” is too loaded a term.
My page on Examples of Critical Reading lists several techniques used by historians to read primary sources critically. I have posted a one-page list of those techniques, which I have found useful in the classroom.
[Update, 1 April 2013: I have changed the handout to read “unstated agenda,” not just agenda.]